diff --git a/stdplugins/headpat.py b/stdplugins/headpat.py
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..56f7144
--- /dev/null
+++ b/stdplugins/headpat.py
@@ -0,0 +1,42 @@
+# This Source Code Form is subject to the terms of the Mozilla Public
+# License, v. 2.0. If a copy of the MPL was not distributed with this
+# file, You can obtain one at http://mozilla.org/MPL/2.0/.
+from telethon import events, utils
+from telethon.tl import types, functions
+
+import re
+import asyncio
+import random
+import json
+import urllib.request
+import urllib.parse
+
+pats = []
+user = None
+oops = 'OOPSIE WOOPSIE!! Uwu We madea fucky wucky!! A wittle fucko boingo! '\
+       'The code monkeys at our headquarters are working VEWY HAWD to fix this!'
+
+
+@borg.on(events.NewMessage)
+async def on_pat(event):
+    global user
+    if user is None:
+        user = (await borg.get_me()).username or ''
+
+    if not user or not re.match(fr'(?i)/headpat@{user}', event.raw_text):
+        return
+
+    global pats
+    if not pats:
+        try:
+            pats = json.loads(urllib.request.urlopen(urllib.request.Request(
+                'http://headp.at/js/pats.json',
+                headers={'User-Agent': 'Mozilla/5.0 (X11; U; Linux i686) '
+                         'Gecko/20071127 Firefox/2.0.0.11'}
+            )).read().decode('utf-8'))
+        except Exception as e:
+            print(e)
+            await event.reply(oops)
+            return
+
+    await event.reply(f'[Pat!](https://headp.at/pats/{urllib.parse.quote(random.choice(pats))})')